Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Nov 24th...
Well there is not that much going on. How does that happen when you have a premature baby in the NICU?
I am not really sure however I am certainly not going to ask that question more then that once.
Lakai is has been stable and just doing his thing for the last couple of days. He is nearly TWO pounds, he is a couple of grams shy right now..but I think by the end of the week, if not sooner he will be there. He is on pump continuous feeds as of yesterday because he was having issues keeping his EBM (breast milk) down and had thrown up twice. But has not since they switched the method of feeding him.
He has had all but one IV removed and is now getting morphine orally instead of through the IV line. The doctors were talking about starting to cut back on that today, which is good news.
The RT also said that they have weaned him slightly from his HFOV and they may switch him back to normal vent in the next few days. In order to challenge him to breath more on his own.
I really would like to see his morphine cut back, or stopped...because it supresses breathing but I also do not want to see him in pain or should I say peeved because of the vent. It's a catch 22 situation. You need to keep him calm and there are not that many ways to go about this, but the method to do this..affects his breathing.
You just cannot win.
I am a little excited that they are talking about switching him back to normal vent because the nurse said that could mean we could hold him. Which would be WONDERFUL since I have not yet. And as of Sunday this week...he is a MONTH old. Can you tell how frustrated I am getting?
I, of course do not want to push him either. But studies have shown that babies who get skin to skin contact tend to have reduced stress, less destats and better breathing. Hello..let me hold my son. =)
I do not have much else to report right now.
Stay tuned!
I am not really sure however I am certainly not going to ask that question more then that once.
Lakai is has been stable and just doing his thing for the last couple of days. He is nearly TWO pounds, he is a couple of grams shy right now..but I think by the end of the week, if not sooner he will be there. He is on pump continuous feeds as of yesterday because he was having issues keeping his EBM (breast milk) down and had thrown up twice. But has not since they switched the method of feeding him.
He has had all but one IV removed and is now getting morphine orally instead of through the IV line. The doctors were talking about starting to cut back on that today, which is good news.
The RT also said that they have weaned him slightly from his HFOV and they may switch him back to normal vent in the next few days. In order to challenge him to breath more on his own.
I really would like to see his morphine cut back, or stopped...because it supresses breathing but I also do not want to see him in pain or should I say peeved because of the vent. It's a catch 22 situation. You need to keep him calm and there are not that many ways to go about this, but the method to do this..affects his breathing.
You just cannot win.
I am a little excited that they are talking about switching him back to normal vent because the nurse said that could mean we could hold him. Which would be WONDERFUL since I have not yet. And as of Sunday this week...he is a MONTH old. Can you tell how frustrated I am getting?
I, of course do not want to push him either. But studies have shown that babies who get skin to skin contact tend to have reduced stress, less destats and better breathing. Hello..let me hold my son. =)
I do not have much else to report right now.
Stay tuned!
Saturday..
Well the last few days have been fairly quiet, Lakai's ventilator was switched to a high frequency oscillating ventilator yesterday.
High Frequency Oscillatory Ventilation (HFOV)
High Frequency Oscillatory Ventilation is characterized by high respiratory rates up to 15 hertz (900 breaths per minute). The rates used vary widely depending upon patient type and disease condition. In HFOV the pressure oscillates around the constant distending pressure (equivalent to the PEEP). Thus gas is pushed into the lung during inspiration, and then pulled out during expiration. HFOV generates very low tidal volumes that are generally less than the dead space of the lung. Tidal volume is dependent on endotrachial tube size, power and hertz. Different mechanisms of gas transfer come into play in HFOV compared to normal mechanical ventilation. It is often used in patients who have hypoxia refractory to normal mechanical ventilation: severe ARDS, ALI and other oxygenation issues that cannot be corrected with conventional ventilation. In some neonatal patients HFOV may be used as the first-line ventilator due to the high susceptibility of the premature infant to lung injury from conventional ventilation.
I must admit I do not like seeing him being shaken like that, even though it is for his own good. I suppose it just looks more agitating then anything else. Which he is. They had to increase his morphine because he is fighting his ventilator. Which would be helpful if he was more ready to come off of it and to be placed on CPAP but currently his lungs are still too premature.
However that being said, there is already some talk about weaning him off the ventilator and making the switch sooner than later.
It's not really funny (yet sort of is) but last night when Kyle called about him, the doctor was telling him that Lakai has a temper and when he is mad he holds his breath. GREAT! He is having enough problems with his breathing...and he is going to hold his breath on top of things because he is pissed off?!
That's my son...(note: I never did that when I was little and didn't get my way...I don't recall at least).
My son. Two words I never thought I would say..he truly is a dream come true, no matter what path he took to get here.
I can't imagine loving him anymore than I do and yet I know there is a world more coming, like a flooding dam about to burst...and it's going to burst the second I get to finally hold him.
I cannot properly explain the amount of agony I feel just sitting there peaking through his little incubator cover, staring at him and then watching the monitors just case my spying on him is stressing him out. Because sometimes too much stimulation from light, sounds and even touching makes his stats going all over the place. Which is not good.
It's an impossible thing to watch your son struggle for life (and yes, he is showing the world what he is made of...) he is still so tiny and fragile and as his mom I just want to hold him. And yet I can't.
It is not natural.
Anyone who is reading this with kids...I know I don't have to tell you this, but cherish the chances you get to hug your kids. Do it more often, do it for me while I cannot hug mine. =)
Chase them down if you have too.
Other than the new ventilator, there isn't much health wise going on with Baby Batman in his new bat cave.
They have taken out his arterial line because it was not being used. They have stopped giving him this yellow IV fluid, which the name is totally escaping me at 2:52 am....Don't ask why I am still up. He was getting Lasix to reduce the fluid in his lungs caused by the BPD.
Which scares me because all my experience with Lasix comes from being around horses, and racehorses..and I have heard some terrible side effects that come from this drug in horses. The doctor did assure me it was not the same in preemies.
His blood sugar is slowly coming down. And he has remained off Insulin for a couple of days solid now, thankfully!!
He is so active, I can't believe it sometimes. He is always moving, kicking, stretching and sometimes having what look like tiny temper tantrums.
He already has quite the little personality forming, he has defendant likes and dislikes..he likes being on his right side over his left, he likes to hold on to things (like his tube, IV, blanket, fingers, anything he can cling too...), he likes to be clean (no dirty diapers) and he lets you know, he likes the peace and quiet, he likes the darkness, he likes to feel confined and he seems to like eating.
Since he is up to his full feeds of 10cc's of breast milk every two hours.
He also likes to hold his breath when things do not go his way. He loves his hands/arms up by his face.
He dislikes well the opposite of most of the things above..clearly!
I must admit I was checking out his hair today, which is getting longer and longer...I think he may have quite the do' by the time he comes home. But anyways...I think his hair might lighter than everyone first thought, while it still looks fairly dark..both Kyle and I noticed that it's lighter than before. Maybe because it is growing..
Another thing is, his eyebrows are fairly light...almost darkish red. I think I may have a red head on my hands after all...Even though I said for so long and so strongly that I did not want a redhead, frankly he can have pink hair with split pea green tips and stripes for all I care now.
I suppose I should go to sleep since it's 3am and I am just starting to get sleepy.
That was a long update for not having very much to update about. I guess I just needed to type.
Thank you to everyone for all the kind wishes, positive thoughts, love and support.
Nic, Kyle, Lakai, Jaeden and Huck.
xo xo xo
I love you Lakai!
High Frequency Oscillatory Ventilation (HFOV)
High Frequency Oscillatory Ventilation is characterized by high respiratory rates up to 15 hertz (900 breaths per minute). The rates used vary widely depending upon patient type and disease condition. In HFOV the pressure oscillates around the constant distending pressure (equivalent to the PEEP). Thus gas is pushed into the lung during inspiration, and then pulled out during expiration. HFOV generates very low tidal volumes that are generally less than the dead space of the lung. Tidal volume is dependent on endotrachial tube size, power and hertz. Different mechanisms of gas transfer come into play in HFOV compared to normal mechanical ventilation. It is often used in patients who have hypoxia refractory to normal mechanical ventilation: severe ARDS, ALI and other oxygenation issues that cannot be corrected with conventional ventilation. In some neonatal patients HFOV may be used as the first-line ventilator due to the high susceptibility of the premature infant to lung injury from conventional ventilation.
I must admit I do not like seeing him being shaken like that, even though it is for his own good. I suppose it just looks more agitating then anything else. Which he is. They had to increase his morphine because he is fighting his ventilator. Which would be helpful if he was more ready to come off of it and to be placed on CPAP but currently his lungs are still too premature.
However that being said, there is already some talk about weaning him off the ventilator and making the switch sooner than later.
It's not really funny (yet sort of is) but last night when Kyle called about him, the doctor was telling him that Lakai has a temper and when he is mad he holds his breath. GREAT! He is having enough problems with his breathing...and he is going to hold his breath on top of things because he is pissed off?!
That's my son...(note: I never did that when I was little and didn't get my way...I don't recall at least).
My son. Two words I never thought I would say..he truly is a dream come true, no matter what path he took to get here.
I can't imagine loving him anymore than I do and yet I know there is a world more coming, like a flooding dam about to burst...and it's going to burst the second I get to finally hold him.
I cannot properly explain the amount of agony I feel just sitting there peaking through his little incubator cover, staring at him and then watching the monitors just case my spying on him is stressing him out. Because sometimes too much stimulation from light, sounds and even touching makes his stats going all over the place. Which is not good.
It's an impossible thing to watch your son struggle for life (and yes, he is showing the world what he is made of...) he is still so tiny and fragile and as his mom I just want to hold him. And yet I can't.
It is not natural.
Anyone who is reading this with kids...I know I don't have to tell you this, but cherish the chances you get to hug your kids. Do it more often, do it for me while I cannot hug mine. =)
Chase them down if you have too.
Other than the new ventilator, there isn't much health wise going on with Baby Batman in his new bat cave.
They have taken out his arterial line because it was not being used. They have stopped giving him this yellow IV fluid, which the name is totally escaping me at 2:52 am....Don't ask why I am still up. He was getting Lasix to reduce the fluid in his lungs caused by the BPD.
Which scares me because all my experience with Lasix comes from being around horses, and racehorses..and I have heard some terrible side effects that come from this drug in horses. The doctor did assure me it was not the same in preemies.
His blood sugar is slowly coming down. And he has remained off Insulin for a couple of days solid now, thankfully!!
He is so active, I can't believe it sometimes. He is always moving, kicking, stretching and sometimes having what look like tiny temper tantrums.
He already has quite the little personality forming, he has defendant likes and dislikes..he likes being on his right side over his left, he likes to hold on to things (like his tube, IV, blanket, fingers, anything he can cling too...), he likes to be clean (no dirty diapers) and he lets you know, he likes the peace and quiet, he likes the darkness, he likes to feel confined and he seems to like eating.
Since he is up to his full feeds of 10cc's of breast milk every two hours.
He also likes to hold his breath when things do not go his way. He loves his hands/arms up by his face.
He dislikes well the opposite of most of the things above..clearly!
I must admit I was checking out his hair today, which is getting longer and longer...I think he may have quite the do' by the time he comes home. But anyways...I think his hair might lighter than everyone first thought, while it still looks fairly dark..both Kyle and I noticed that it's lighter than before. Maybe because it is growing..
Another thing is, his eyebrows are fairly light...almost darkish red. I think I may have a red head on my hands after all...Even though I said for so long and so strongly that I did not want a redhead, frankly he can have pink hair with split pea green tips and stripes for all I care now.
I suppose I should go to sleep since it's 3am and I am just starting to get sleepy.
That was a long update for not having very much to update about. I guess I just needed to type.
Thank you to everyone for all the kind wishes, positive thoughts, love and support.
Nic, Kyle, Lakai, Jaeden and Huck.
xo xo xo
I love you Lakai!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Update finally...sorry!
So the last few days have been very hectic, mostly Monday was the really busy day we moved all day long. And never made it to see Lakai, which was terrible. I cried most of the night because we had not gone and yet I was still moving in to our new place and couldn't just up and leave. Especially because we had the rental truck..and Eli helping us move. Thank you Eli!
And my mom who got us a great new bed set. Its stunning!
Nov 18th & 19th -
There has not been very much change lately. I suppose no big news is good news. But there are some changes that are happening which are not great and yet they are very typical of micro preemies. He has some negative changes happening in his lungs. He has had "very abnormal" chest xrays which tell that there is some very early indications of chronic lung disease. He is very heavily ventilated and sedated with morphine because of the need for ventilation. He was up to the 70's for oxygen and now is in the 40's so he is jumping all over the place.
He also does not like noise or being handled, so they have decided today to move him and another micro preemie, Emma (23 weeker) into a private room together, away from the very loud and busy main NICU.
Other than that he has been gaining weight, but there was a small loss of 8g's and when every gram helps..that matters.
His infection seems to be doing better and he is almost done his antibiotics.
There is not much else going on right now..
I will keep you guys updated. Sorry for the delay, but we only have one computer set up currently.
Nic
And my mom who got us a great new bed set. Its stunning!
Nov 18th & 19th -
There has not been very much change lately. I suppose no big news is good news. But there are some changes that are happening which are not great and yet they are very typical of micro preemies. He has some negative changes happening in his lungs. He has had "very abnormal" chest xrays which tell that there is some very early indications of chronic lung disease. He is very heavily ventilated and sedated with morphine because of the need for ventilation. He was up to the 70's for oxygen and now is in the 40's so he is jumping all over the place.
He also does not like noise or being handled, so they have decided today to move him and another micro preemie, Emma (23 weeker) into a private room together, away from the very loud and busy main NICU.
Other than that he has been gaining weight, but there was a small loss of 8g's and when every gram helps..that matters.
His infection seems to be doing better and he is almost done his antibiotics.
There is not much else going on right now..
I will keep you guys updated. Sorry for the delay, but we only have one computer set up currently.
Nic
Monday, November 17, 2008
I am a butterfly...
Right now I wait, right now I grow,
But soon I will show.
Show the world what a beautiful transformation I have made,
Soon all the memories of my struggle will fade.
Right now I will be strong,
For the journey I am making is long.
But in time you will see,
The perfection which my mom calls “me”.
Right now I cannot fly,
But each time you see me, your heart is set on high.
In such a short time I will morph into an unstoppable force, a delicate being full of love and life,
In such a short time we will all but forget these days of strife.
My will is great; my strength is shining inside,
I face each new day, each new set back in stride.
Right now I am in my cocoon; right now I grow,
But soon I will show.
Show the world what a beautiful butterfly I have grown into,
And I will make it home to you.
I love you Lakai, love Mom.
But soon I will show.
Show the world what a beautiful transformation I have made,
Soon all the memories of my struggle will fade.
Right now I will be strong,
For the journey I am making is long.
But in time you will see,
The perfection which my mom calls “me”.
Right now I cannot fly,
But each time you see me, your heart is set on high.
In such a short time I will morph into an unstoppable force, a delicate being full of love and life,
In such a short time we will all but forget these days of strife.
My will is great; my strength is shining inside,
I face each new day, each new set back in stride.
Right now I am in my cocoon; right now I grow,
But soon I will show.
Show the world what a beautiful butterfly I have grown into,
And I will make it home to you.
I love you Lakai, love Mom.
Nov 15th & 16th Updates...
Nov 15 -
So yesterday when I called the morning nurse to get our morning update on Lakai's overnight and current condition, she told me that he had a temperature and they thought a possible infection. But they had taken blood, urine and saliva samples for testing. And had started him antibiotics before the results came back, just in case.
He was also getting a blood transfusion due to his red blood cells being low.
On the upside, he was off his insulin and getting 2cc's of breast milk every two hours.
And other than the infection he was stable and doing well.
But in bigger news...When he was born his eyes were fused shut, but yesterday?! He opened them for the first time! His Grandma and Dad saw him do it first, which of course made his proud Daddy cry like a baby...his words not mine! But as soon as I was done in the "pump room" I saw his beautiful eyes for the time...open! It was so amazing, I had a hard time holding back the tears then. But later when I was alone with Lakai, he opened them again and I quickly opened his cocoon to hold his hand and talk to him...I swear he was trying to focus on where the voice was coming from!
I couldn't hold the tears back then.
Nov 16th -
Today was a good day..Lakai's temperature was back to normal and there were no other signs of the infection (which he did have). He is stable and doing great!
He is up to 4cc's at his feedings..so I hope the herbs Im taking will help increase my supply, I have a feeling once he really gets going he will be an eating machine!
Lakai currently weighs..776 grams! 66 more than when he was born! Way to go little mouse!!
They have taken out the line to his umbilical cord which means I could possibly get to hold him in the next few days, but as much as I want to hold him (at this point I would be willing to sell my husband..for the chance..hehe) I also want to make sure he is stable enough for it to happen.
Ruth and his Grandpa were there to visit today. Which was very nice.
This was only the second time Ruth has seen him, because she was sick. So its great she's now better and able to see little Lakai again.
When Kyle just called for our nightly update from the night nurse, she told him he was stable and doing well. However, his blood sugar was up to 9 again...which really worries me because now that his line in the cord is gone. If they need to restart insulin they will need to put an arterial line in or poke him every two hours. I hope that the increased feedings will help to regulate his blood sugar.
I know I have said it before but I cannot express how lucky I feel to have such wonderful support from everyone on here, our families, our friends and most of all my parents!
Tomorrow we are moving into our new apartment. I cannot wait to start painting and decoration Lakai's room. He is going to have the best room any baby could ever ask for!!
Ok...I also cannot wait to start painting the whole house. I have never had a place where I could paint whatever colours I wanted..so it's VERY exciting!
Thanks everyone for the support and love! Nicola, Kyle and Lakai!
x0x0x0x0
So yesterday when I called the morning nurse to get our morning update on Lakai's overnight and current condition, she told me that he had a temperature and they thought a possible infection. But they had taken blood, urine and saliva samples for testing. And had started him antibiotics before the results came back, just in case.
He was also getting a blood transfusion due to his red blood cells being low.
On the upside, he was off his insulin and getting 2cc's of breast milk every two hours.
And other than the infection he was stable and doing well.
But in bigger news...When he was born his eyes were fused shut, but yesterday?! He opened them for the first time! His Grandma and Dad saw him do it first, which of course made his proud Daddy cry like a baby...his words not mine! But as soon as I was done in the "pump room" I saw his beautiful eyes for the time...open! It was so amazing, I had a hard time holding back the tears then. But later when I was alone with Lakai, he opened them again and I quickly opened his cocoon to hold his hand and talk to him...I swear he was trying to focus on where the voice was coming from!
I couldn't hold the tears back then.
Nov 16th -
Today was a good day..Lakai's temperature was back to normal and there were no other signs of the infection (which he did have). He is stable and doing great!
He is up to 4cc's at his feedings..so I hope the herbs Im taking will help increase my supply, I have a feeling once he really gets going he will be an eating machine!
Lakai currently weighs..776 grams! 66 more than when he was born! Way to go little mouse!!
They have taken out the line to his umbilical cord which means I could possibly get to hold him in the next few days, but as much as I want to hold him (at this point I would be willing to sell my husband..for the chance..hehe) I also want to make sure he is stable enough for it to happen.
Ruth and his Grandpa were there to visit today. Which was very nice.
This was only the second time Ruth has seen him, because she was sick. So its great she's now better and able to see little Lakai again.
When Kyle just called for our nightly update from the night nurse, she told him he was stable and doing well. However, his blood sugar was up to 9 again...which really worries me because now that his line in the cord is gone. If they need to restart insulin they will need to put an arterial line in or poke him every two hours. I hope that the increased feedings will help to regulate his blood sugar.
I know I have said it before but I cannot express how lucky I feel to have such wonderful support from everyone on here, our families, our friends and most of all my parents!
Tomorrow we are moving into our new apartment. I cannot wait to start painting and decoration Lakai's room. He is going to have the best room any baby could ever ask for!!
Ok...I also cannot wait to start painting the whole house. I have never had a place where I could paint whatever colours I wanted..so it's VERY exciting!
Thanks everyone for the support and love! Nicola, Kyle and Lakai!
x0x0x0x0
Saturday, November 15, 2008
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