Nov 3 -

There is no updates right now, which is always good news. He is off the blue light therapy now and his colour looks awesome. He has not had his first feeding yet because his blood sugar was a bit high earlier, but it was back to normal by the end of afternoon. So hopefully soon there will be a first feeding.

Thanks Sam for offering to help with Huck, but they are both fine. And we have tons of support being offered for caring for them both. But of course I will let you know if we did need help.

I do have a feeling the strength I feel currently will be going down drastically once we have to leave the hospital with out Lakai. It will be so hard to not be just upstairs and able to just see him whenever we want. I know the next few months will be wonderful as he grows stronger and healthier each day, but it will be hard to not be right there.

Tonight when I saw him there was a soon-to-be-mom at his incubator looking at him..which at first scared me a little because I couldn't figure out why there was a strange nurse and woman looking at my son..but then the nurse informed me that the lady was about to give birth to a baby the same age as Lakai. And it made me calm down..new moms hey?

But they kept saying how beautiful he was..like I didn't already know. And how perfect he looked. Which he does.

The picture above? Does not do him justice, he looks far better in person. Once I can I will get his first actual photos scanned and posted on here for everyone to see.

He is flawless.



Nov 4-5th Updates...

In the last two days since that first update, Lakai has developed a PDA which is currently being treated with medication and being "watched" to see the outcome. But it is responding well to medication alone right now.

And today we learned that he has a Grade IV IHV on the lower side of the severity scale, but has one none the less. There is some bleeding found in the brain and its in front left side. The doctors of course gave us the worst case scenario, that he may have developmental issues...or physical issues like muscle control. But she did not feel like this would affect his survival and or there was any reason to discontinue support...not that we would (unless he faced a life of serve problems/pain).

Frankly for me, there is just no options. He is my son, I know he is strong and if he finds he cant always be strong, I am more than capable of being strong for both of us. The doctor can tell me all the stats she wants, he is not a stat or number....he will make up his own mind.

I don't know why but I am not scared that Lakai will not make it or will not come through this all the best possible person he can be. Whomever that may be.

I have been struggling a little with feeling like we are alone in this. I have tons of support from my husband, my family and friends. Even Lakai..bless his heart. He hung on to my finger today after we learned about his bleed, stronger than he ever has. It was like he was letting me know "Hey Mom, don't listen to anyone or anything but your heart. I'm going to be ok..".

I am listening to my heart... =)

Nov 6th Update....

We have had some positives today such as his PDA appears to be closed, but they did warn us that it could open again. He also does have a cut on his head that was looked at by a plastic surgeon but they think it will heal on its own.

He looks awesome. And frankly there isn't much change..but what there was, was all positive.

He was off his funky blue light today, which showed what nice colouring his skin has..nice a pink.

The doctor also told us even with the IVH he is doing so well in general. She said she was shocked that he had such a badly graded bleed because the rest of his health issues are minor.

I, on the other hand might be starting to run down a little..I feel very weak and tired. I don't think I am eating very well, which I know I have to fix. Between worrying and pumping, I feel pretty much terrible!

But I will start trying to take better care of myself since I know I have to be strong for Lakai.

They also have upped his feeding of 1cc of breast milk every four hours..to every two!

The doctor did say that even though he does have a Grade IV bleed its not on the serious side and that means its very doubtful he would be strongly affected by it. He could face learning disabilities or possible muscle control issues, but those are what can happen with there being also brain damage/injury.

She said we will have a better idea of what could be in 2-6 weeks. She also said that babys brains do amazing things and the outcome is really not something you can predict.

They can give us an "idea" but Lakai will pretty much decide the rest.

I don't know what to really make of it all beyond the fact that any baby can or could have these issues..

I cannot wait to hold him! Its honestly the toughest thing in the world. I can't wait to start kangaroo care.

Also our favorite nurse who just started at the hospital is actually able to do primary care, so thats a huge plus for us because we really like her and feel comfortable with her.

I don't have much else to update you guys with right now. Except Lakai peed all over the doctor and his incubator today as well....there is no mistaking he is all boy!

Nov 7 -

I don't have much to update health wise regarding Lakai..he is still doing so well. And despite being so small, its amazing to us that there are just so many other babies (some premature and some full term) who are so much sicker than he is. Its hard to not feel blessed.

I did get some awesome news that any day now, I should be able to HOLD HIM! I cannot wait. I hope I can keep myself together.

I well up just thinking about it!

Anyways..here are some updated pictures. I know its tough to see any baby or anyone full of wires and tubes, I had such a hard time before him looking at preemies. But trust me he is doing awesome and is strong!


Nov 8 -

Well today there is no huge changes, he is up to 4cc's of breast milk though which is good because he has lost SO much weight. Over 100 grams. =( But that is very common for preemies and he should start gaining soon. I cannot wait, because he is small enough!!

He still has blood sugar issues caused mostly from the fact they are trying to up his IV fluids and its just too much for his system.

His lines in his cord are still in because he is getting insulin so we are unable to hold him until those come out and he is taken off the ventilator and put onto a breathing machine called a CPAC.

I bought some blankets for him tonight so he can start having his own linens at the hospital and we can bring them home to wash..more something for me to do. Plus we can bring them home for the dogs smell and get use too. I also plan to tuck them in my shirt to rub some of my scent off on them....only after I shower first though...no germs!

I guess no news, is good news...

I wish it was February!

Nov 9 -

So today was full of ups and downs, as life in the NICU seems to be every day...

Lakai has put on 100 grams of weight thankfully. And was taken off his insulin for his high blood sugar levels, for now. His IV fluids are up to where the doctor wanted them to be, so that is also good and could mean he will not need insulin again.

He is now getting between 4 to 5 cc's of breast milk every two hours, the goal is to get him up to 9cc's every two hours. Well the goal in my mind is to get him breast feeding, but that's probably months and months away.

We also found his heart issues (PDA) is open and closing, so tomorrow they are going to do a repeat heart echo (ultrasound) and if it is open, then they will be performing surgery to clamp and close the PDA. I know the doctor has told us its a simple surgery that they do every day and that they do it about once a day on babies. But not my baby. And its a bit scary to think he will forever have a metal clamp in his heart.

He is also having another head ultrasound tomorrow to see where his bleeding is at, the doctor pushed it forward for us because Tuesday is a holiday. So we will see where we stand with the IHV bleed.

So today was a good and bad day.

And tomorrow is a very busy and important day.

I just wanted to take a second to thank my mom and dad, who undoubtly have been our biggest support system through out this. They have been driving us back and forth to the hospital whenever we want. Getting food into us. To even getting us boxes for our up coming move just next weekend.

Thank you so much Mom and Dad!

Also thank you very much to Ruth, the necklace was beautiful and I will wear it close to my heart. And the scrapbook is awesome, we cannot wait to fill full of baby pictures of lovely Lakai.

And last but never least thank you to everyone who has shown their support and love through out this!

Nov 10 & 11th -

This update was in my comments for the Nov 9th update..but just in case...Yesterday was suppose to be a busy day..but instead it was more hurry up and wait. Which is ok..I guess. But I won't lie it gets frustrating. Lakai is getting his surgery but it looks like it will be tomorrow. I have read ALL about it and now feel some what "comfortable" with it happening. Though I will never get use to the idea my baby is being operated on.

He has gained a little more weight today which is good.

He also had a second blood transfusion today which went well. But he also had a "brady" while we were at the hospital but I assume that will have something to do with his PDA.

I have to laugh a little because I found another quirk he and I share..beyond having ticklish feet..Lakai also really dislikes being on his left side. Which I cannot stand either.

Kyle learned how to clean his mouth and moisturize his lips today, which promptly made him start to suck and stick out his tongue.

I cannot wait till he gains some more weight. And gets the lines out of his umbilical cord (well stump now) so I can hold him. Its such an emotional seesaw when one nurse tells you one thing and another tells you another.

Even the doctors do it. I understand why..but it can be frustrating none the less. I totally appreicate the job they are doing, thats for sure!


Nov 11th Update.........


Today was a hard day, for everyone..especially for Lakai. He had his PDA surgery today which went very well. Thankfully! Thank you to Dr. Campbell who performed the surgery. And our nurse Jenny who is awesome and very good about making sure we not only have updates but we know exactly what is going on. I think we are going to ask her to be another one of our primary nurses. She's very good at her job, very careful and caring with Lakai, calling him "our" baby.

Lakai's surgery was about an hour tops, if that. Though I won't lie it felt as if the world stood still once the nurse said "this is where we say goodbye to the parents" just outside the surgery room doors.

Before the surgery Lakai was sucking away on his hand, which I confess I put to his mouth for him a couple of times. He seems to find a lot of comfort in doing it, though later in life I might regret that choice; but for now, whatever he needs to find comfort in ok with me.

He was very active before the surgery which was nice to see, because afterward he was so sedated that it made me pain a lot inside seeing him so still.

His blood sugar is back up again, but Jenny attributed that to the fact they had to stop feedings before the surgery and increased his IV fluids instead. So he was put back on insulin for now. He should start feeding again within a day or two, if not sooner. The way he eats already, it should be sooner. From what I have researched about preemies, 4cc's of breast milk for a 10 day old preemie is quiet a lot.

Both sides of his family love food..so it makes sense!

It was so hard to leave him tonight, mostly because he was not awake from the sedation yet and I wanted to see him more awake before we left. I am not sure what I am going to do when it comes time for me to return to work, I wish I didn't have too. But the fact we are about to sign the papers on our first apartment tomorrow, I have to go back because it wasn't planned for me to be off this soon and I cannot just dump the mortgage payments all on Kyle.

I am sure we will make something work. I am hoping once I can start holding him and later on breast feeding him...I will be able to be off work. Because once I can do one or both of those, it's going to take a tow truck or gale force winds to sweep through the NICU before I will leave. I am not about to miss my bonding experiences with him. That's for sure!

So other than that, that is our update for today.

Thank you everyone for the well wishes and positive thoughts regarding his big surgery today. It worked!

Keep it up please!!

Love Nic, Kyle & Lakai

Jaeden and Huckleberry too!

xoxox